An estimated
one in 10 adults in the United States reports some sort of depression,
according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, and statistics
show that depression is increasing at an alarming rate. Depression can be in
part genetic, biological, situational, hormonal, or environmental, and is more
prevalent in women than men.
 |
| Dawn Kernen |
Dawn Kernen
can put a face to some of those statistics, detailing a family and personal
history with the complex disease. “In high school,” she said, “I started
noticing I had a hard time in winter. I was more withdrawn, had less energy.”
Dawn eventually realized she suffered from SAD, seasonal affective disorder.
But her experiences actually started long before that.
“My dad suffered
through depression,” Dawn said, though as a child she didn’t understand what
that meant. “I only knew he wasn’t very social. He liked to stay home. But
there’s really nothing wrong with that.” Dawn’s brother also has depression.
When Dawn
was 24, she was in a difficult job situation, overcome with feelings of guilt
because in her position in banking she felt she was negatively contributing to
people who were already in debt. “I hated my job,” she said. “I was crying. I
told Phil (her husband) I can’t go to work. I was so miserable in my job.”
During that time, she also started having back trouble, so she went to a
physical therapist. The therapist took her through a series of movements,
including raising her arms. Dawn matter-of-factly told the therapist she can’t
lift her arms like that because it makes her dizzy. As the therapist continued
to ask her questions, Dawn said, “Would it interest you to know I had brain
damage as a child?” Upon hearing that, the therapist made an appointment for
Dawn to see a neurologist.
The brain
damage Dawn suffered had been caused by a common cold that became toxic in her
system. “I had to learn how to walk again, how to talk. A young child in my hometown
had the same issue at the time and he died.” Taking into account her medical
history, and her emotional issues, the neurologist diagnosed Dawn with anxiety and
depression and started her on anti-depressants. “I was on the meds for a year
or two, and I just didn’t’ want to be on them,” Dawn said. “I thought it was a
weakness. And my SAD was getting worse and worse every year.”
For Dawn,
the stigma associated with being labeled with depression was more traumatic
than life without medication, so she quit taking the pills. Life continued, and
soon she was a mother of three, including four-month-old twins, working
full-time, and nursing both babies. She and Phil decided to attend a game night
at Holy Cross, a much needed chance to get out and enjoy themselves. That
evening, Dawn said, friends at the event took over the care of her children,
giving her some free time to relax. “Then someone asked me how I was doing, and
I just lost it,” Dawn said. “I was completely exhausted.”
Not long
after that, Dawn found herself in another difficult job situation, but this one
was because she had an unkind supervisor. “My boss was basically telling me I
was worthless,” Dawn said. “She accused me of lying, stealing. None of it was
true.” She would berate Dawn over the speaker phone, so that colleagues could
hear what was happening. That sort of abuse is demoralizing and dehumanizing.
Dawn tried to put up with it because the job was close to home, she got off at
3 p.m., and could be there for her kids after school. She finally went back on
medication, hoping that would help her feel better. “But the harassment didn’t
stop. It was exhausting. I was crying every day.”
As part of
her coping strategy with depression, she and her husband take a trip to
somewhere warm and sunny each January. Dawn sent out two resumes before they
left that year, and returned home to find a phone message asking her to come in
for an interview. She received the job offer the day after she and Phil had
discussed a deadline of quitting her current job, and she happily works for
that company today.
She has
learned a lot about depression along the way. “Depression is no different than
diabetes,” Dawn said, noting that both are diseases that require treatment to
get through each day. “I finally came to terms with who I am.”
Dawn takes
medication regularly, seeks counseling whenever she feels it’s necessary,
bought what she calls a ‘happy light’ to help mitigate her SAD, plans fun
things to do, doesn’t overschedule her time, talks to friends who keep her in
check, and exercises.
 |
| Kernen Family |
She has
advice for others who are struggling with depression. “I encourage people, it’s
okay to ask for help,” she said. “You’re not alone. You don’t have to put up
with bad situations.” Dawn said it’s important for people to feel empowered, to
find what works best for them, whether it means finding a different counselor,
changing jobs, or educating family and friends about depression. “I’ve heard
depression described in very negative terms, derogatory remarks,” she said.
“There’s fear and a complete lack of understanding.” She hopes that by sharing
her story, people will become more knowledgeable and accepting about
depression, and mental illness in general.
No comments:
Post a Comment