Ruthi Ostgulen - a fight against breast cancer

For most of us, life is routine. We follow the same daily and weekly schedules, and the days and the weeks pass. But then one day, perhaps you fall and break a leg, or your job changes, or you face an impending move. Or maybe, like Ruthi Ostgulen, you find a lump in your breast.

Ruthi Ostgulen

But a lump could be nothing, right? Ruthi hoped so, and since she had recently had a clear mammogram, thought she would just ignore it and continue on with her life.

“But then I kept hearing ‘breast cancer,’ ‘breast cancer,’ breast cancer,’” Ruthi said, referring to a sudden awareness of stories in the news and other conversation. So she decided she would visit the doctor, get some peace of mind.

The doctor’s visit led to an ultrasound, then a biopsy, then a few tense days of waiting for the results. Ruthi was back at the doctor’s office, last October 15, when he came in and said, “The bad news is it’s cancer. The good news is I think it’s small and can be treated.” That’s not the news Ruthi had expected to hear. “I was in shock,” she said. “I was always healthy, never had any issues.”

Suddenly Ruthi had to make choices without much medical knowledge, and certainly no experience.  The first decision was whether to have a lumpectomy or mastectomy. Prayer and reflection led her to opt for the lumpectomy. That went well, she thought. But then came the pathology report, showing more cancerous tissue. Once again, she had a choice to make. Further lumpectomy, single or double mastectomy?  “There are all these huge decisions you have to make in a short amount of time,” Ruthi said. “But how do you make that decision?” For her, each decision could mean life or death, and a drastic physical change.  

Ruthi spoke to a young mom at Holy Cross who had just been through this. Afterwards, and after more prayer and reflection, she felt confident that a double mastectomy was the way to go.  She had surgery after Thanksgiving, and again thought it went okay. Ruthi said the doctor used a super glue, so that she didn’t have big staples, or even a wrapping of bandages.

Because Ruthi’s diagnosis was a fast-growing cancer which had spread to the lymph nodes, she had more treatment to endure. Chemotherapy started January 4, once a week for 16 weeks, about three hours of her day. She took anti-nausea medicine, but still needed a long weekend to recover and get her strength back before returning to work on Monday. A side effect, she knew, would be hair loss, including eyebrows and eyelashes. “My hair started coming out in clumps,” she said. So she decided to shave her head.

All along, Ruthi had the support of her husband and a friend/neighbor who she describes as wonderful, along with family, friends and co-workers. Meals, cards, conversations, shared tears, weekly chemo goodie bags. But for the head shaving, she was joined on her front porch by her husband, son Erik and a close friend, all of whom shaved their heads with her. Her son in El Dorado and brother-in-law in Albuquerque, New Mexico, also shaved their heads that day long distance.

When Ruthi’s chemo treatments ended, radiation began. Five days a week for six weeks. “My skin peeled, like a sunburn,” Ruthi said. But finally came the July day when treatment ended, and Ruthi could start trying to return to a semblance of what her life had been, before she got caught up in the whirlwind of a cancer diagnosis. Sadly, too, during this time, she had to deal with the tragic death of her brother in a plane crash.

“Looking back, this seems like a bad dream,” Ruthi said. “But then I look in the mirror.” Her hair is growing back in, a salt and pepper look, and maybe she’ll decide to color it, and maybe she won’t. Reconstructive surgery, she says, seems unnecessary right now, especially since it would mean having to endure more time in a hospital, recovery and rehabilitation. 
Those things aren’t a priority for her. But she knows what is. “I want to spend more time with my kids (five of them) and grandkids (10 of those),” she said. “I want to do things again to help others.”

Ruthi is participating in a clinical trial through the University of Kansas Medical Center, where her weeks of treatment will be studied and compared. She faces five years of visits with her oncologist and ten years of follow-up with the clinical trial. She would be more than willing to offer advice and share her experience with someone else newly diagnosed with breast cancer.

And then there’s her faith. Ruthi has become intimately acquainted with God through the ordeal of this past year. “You cry, ‘where are you, God,’ and then you see he’s right here,” she said, explaining how each day’s devotion was exactly what she needed that moment, or the hug of a friend brought comfort, or another card in the mail let her know she was on someone’s mind. “I felt God though this a lot.” And that’s what she would want someone else to know, “God is there, and He will get you through it.”